Jan 11
Talking to your children about a sibling's addiction is incredibly difficult, but openness (age-appropriate) usually serves families better than silence. Here's how to approach it:
Tailor the conversation to each child's age
Young children (5-10) need simple, concrete explanations: "[Sibling] is sick right now with something called addiction. It makes their brain tell them they need [substance], even though it's hurting them. Doctors and counselors are helping them get better." Reassure them it's not their fault and they're safe.
Tweens and teens can handle more complexity. They likely already sense something is wrong, so honesty validates their perceptions. Explain addiction as a medical condition affecting the brain, not a moral failing. Be clear about what they might observe (behavior changes, mood swings, treatment absences).
Focus on what children need to know
Be honest without oversharing medical details or graphic information. Answer their questions directly but don't elaborate beyond what they're asking. Emphasize that addiction is treatable, that their sibling is getting help, and that loving someone with addiction doesn't mean accepting harmful behavior.
Make it clear this isn't their responsibility to fix. Children sometimes try to become "perfect" to compensate or take on caretaking roles they shouldn't bear.
Create ongoing dialogue
This shouldn't be one conversation. Check in regularly, since their understanding and questions will evolve. Let them know they can always come to you with concerns, even uncomfortable ones.
Normalize their feelings—whatever they feel (anger, sadness, embarrassment, fear, even relief if a sibling moves to treatment) is valid. Consider connecting them with support groups for siblings of people with addiction.
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